So, you have found a new prospective partner, and you have gone on a few dates after a time you believe you are falling in love. This is a great feeling, this is where you find believe the world is truly wonderful and nobody else has experienced the joy and elation you are feeling at this time. You look to your new beau and realise they like choc chip minted ice cream also... It must be true love. During this phase of a relationship, priorities can be blurred, and losing your path, or losing site of your mission in life is not difficult, this is a powerfully emotive time. Many people already know, that you cannot show love, unless you have it to give. Therefore, before entering the relationship, importance is placed on the development of self, a development of satisfaction and joy in who you are yourself. If you take yourself into a relationship with a low sense of self worth, then it is more than likely you have attracted somebody who will mirror this, that is, another person with low self esteem. This relationship may work at some level, but as a basis for a long term, deeply intimate and spiritual relationship, failure is a matter of course. The key to overcoming this trap, is to keep priorities in order. The first priority in a relationship is to maintain the development of self. Without the growth of self, your partner will outgrow you, and you will be left behind. This, of course assumes your partner is also on a spiritual path of self development. Should your primary focus remain on the relationship, then self development will suffer, and soon your partner will realise, that they have out grown you, and will move on to a more fulfilling relationship. Similarly, if your focus is primarily on your partner, then, once again, self development suffers as their is no growth of the self, and no growth in the relationship. A focus on the relationship is vital in maintaining an intimate and spiritually fulfilling relationship, however, this cannot be at the expense of the self. Only by maintaining your own spiritual development can you grow within the relationship, and any obsession with the partner, or the relationship itself, leads to a lack of focus of development of the self, and without this, there can be no growth with the partner, or within the relationship. What is needed is a balance, and constant checking in with your partner to see where you are as individuals, and where the relationship is at. Perhaps the relationship needs some attention, perhaps your partner or you yourself needs to work on some issues, but this cannot be done without strong communication. The development of self need always to be the first priority, for without this, relationships have the potential to become addictive and toxic. A loving relationship cannot be obsessive and all consuming, isolating or constrictive in any way. The course of love needs to be free to express itself, and the people in the relationship need to have the room grow freely within bounds of the relationship.